“My gym has been renovating during the pandemic, sending emails keeping us all updated on the progress. They literally said “You won’t recognize this place when you come back!” Mother f***er went and collapsed this afternoon.”

“I’ve lost 10lbs so far…apparently not enough…”

“Just ordered a pizza, super excited when it showed up, opened the box and it was uncooked.”

“Didn’t check my old house for a while.”

“Got my delayed Amazon package. It was delivered empty. They never actually sealed the envelope. The item must have fallen out in transit.”

“Just discovered the termites in my walls.”

“Sat too close to the fire with my hiking boots.”

“So… My brother made a “pRanK” and did this…we dont have a key.”

“Putting down new floor and almost had enough, almost.”

“My dog got skunked again. this time she was on a leash and sniffed it out from under a bush..”

Pillow in the dryer.”

“Lockdown renovations look so easy on Instagram.”

“Dragging my 25 ton loader..”

“A 15 minute long storm killed our tree.”

“Good morning.”

“What better way to end your workday than a ceiling leak!?”

“I superglued my broken stone and left it on my desk. It’s glued to the desk now.”

“This is my bike. I was away for 6 minutes. I had to walk 16km home with a bike frame under my arm.”

“Forgot my gummy vitamins in the car…”

“Found the fire ants while I was mowing.”

“Movers tried to extort $650 extra to carry my stuff up to my apartment. I couldn’t pay it so they dumped all my worldly possessions on the side or the road.”

“The city removed my street an hour before our movers arrived.”

“Turns out grocery store did not refrigerate these tortillas.”